for a while there i was angry that i was an artist. i can't help it or stop it i have dedicated to much to this thing called art. once in a while i feel that i am a fraud, ling to people trying to get them to think that i am good at what i do and then after some heavy drinking i come back to where i started and just kept working but this time i say every time i brought a brush to canvas or wood as a failure, i say the lies come to the surface before i could try to correct the mistakes i never made. after a long struggle i was finally able to start some new work and not to different from what i have done in the past, but this time around i feel comfort at the idea of working on the basics again not abstract ideas that challenge even my own thought process but work that proves i have control over the tool i use.